My husband is transgender.

My husband recently expressed to me that he is transgender, meaning he wants to live his life as a woman.

(Before anyone gets offended, I still call him by male identifiers because that’s where we are in our relationship and he’s assured me he’s comfortable with it. Should he ever transition, I’d obviously call him by the new preferred name and identifiers.)

To say it came out of nowhere would be a lie on my part. I’ve always figured he was a little gay, or something. He’d mentioned wayyyy back when we started dating that he always thought it was dumb that boys couldn’t wear dresses. I never forgo that statement, but I also never thought it’d meant he’d want to live his life as a woman. If anything, I figured he’d want to crossdress, which I’d be cool with when he was comfortable taking that step.

Background: We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. We’re both young (over 25, less than 30) and have no children, nor do we have plans for them. We have a really, really great relationship with plenty of communication. We’re the couple that (many!) people have said they want to be. Everything seemed perfect.

To say that him saying he wants to be a woman didn’t make things completely go to shit, but it certainly put a rift in our relationship. My first thoughts were about our stability… we’ve never been a fighting couple, we hardly ever had disagreements… we’re used to always being on the same page. But now, this admission of his initially made things very rocky for us. I was so worried he’d leave me, or that I wouldn’t like him anymore after coming to terms with him wanting to be a woman.

Anyway, my husband wants to live his life as a woman. I began this blog to express my feelings on the subject, to capture the conversations as I remember them, and to write about future conversations as they happen. I’ll write more on the subject as I have time. I hope other women in my position will follow me and offer their advice.